Life has a way of periodically bucking us off our high horse in order to see just how resilient we are. To me, it always feels that at times, the universe pushes us to the verge of our breaking point, but then it leaves us right there- watching to see if we voluntarily roll off the cliff or if we get back up and start over again. This time around, nothing like good old sciatica and a miscarriage to sideline me from daily life and training for the ITU world championships.
Aside from my body instantly knowing to pack pounds on when it figured out I was pregnant (but not instantly making them disappear when I was no longer pregnant), it has been quite an emotional rollercoaster. It hasn't quite helped that I can't run or bike due to my sciatica. It has felt so demoralizing that I've also tossed swimming out the window. I can see the silver lining in that I am more resilient and more thankful for what I already have, but the truth is this rollercoaster ride has been rough my friends. Rougher than I ever expected it to be.
Yet even though I've been bucked off from the horse once again, I am getting back up and slowly inching myself back to the state of life I want to be in. I'm ten pounds heavier than I was this winter, I haven't ridden, swum(?) or run in a few months. But today, I am determined to SMASH any universal force that thought it could bring me down. I might not be able to run, but I'll become well acquainted with the elliptical. I might not be able to ride long distances on my tri-bike, but mountain biking is my alternative. I might not be able to swim -oh wait-, I can swim ...But I will no longer be lazy about swimming!
Today is the day I brush that dust off and get back into the game. I'm ready and I'm inspired by my amazing Smashfest Queen Teammates, and I'm thankful for my resilient body. They say as you age it's harder to bounce back, but though it may take longer, I WILL BOUNCE!
ITU Worlds might not be happening this year for me, I can aim for other shorter, local races. And who knows, maybe later in the season my sciatica will disappear and I might go to the ITU National Championships again in November and try to keep my slot on Team USA. For now though, I'm content to just watch my body inch itself back to health day by day. 
